is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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