he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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