I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
