If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
