Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
