There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
