I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That accounts for only three of the penises
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
