"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My vagina is very pro this idea
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