just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
