sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
