Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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