This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think i have two assholes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
