you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
