oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize