Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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