I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
