i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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