all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Every concussion has its silver lining
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
