hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i now understand why vodka
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
