She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize