Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Randomize