She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize