It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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