At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
