$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
