Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
