there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
