i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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