I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
