Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize