Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
