So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
