He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
