Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
