I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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