She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
