I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
