is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
