actually, I'm a sock model
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
