I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
