I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize