we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
