2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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