Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
