I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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