Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
