The maid of honor just puked.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize