apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize