Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
