I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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