Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
