I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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