doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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