East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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