That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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