I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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