she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize