why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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