if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
