I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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