Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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