dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dicks are not precious.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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