I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
