Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
