Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize