Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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