that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
