So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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